Today is my third chemo. I have so far spent way too many days vomiting my toes up in the bathroom. I know the inside of our toilet well, and it needs to be cleaned. This time will be different, or so I tell myself. Since nothing I tried with the last treatment worked I am being forced to wear a 24 hour nausea pump called a BAD pump (benadryl, ativan, decadron). I'm not excited at all to wear this pump, but I am excited to see if it works. I took this entire week off of work, since I knew how bad I felt last time. I don't like to call in sick to work and if given the option of calling in sick or coming in sick I always choose to come in to work. Therefore, I took the week off so that I wouldn't feel as bad not being there. They can plan ahead and just plan to miss me for a week.
The other thing that has changed with this treatment is that I will be trying some "alternative" nausea meds. (And by this I mean pot.) Mom, stop judging me. If you were in my shoes you might decide to try it too. I am not a pot smoker. I have only ever tried this one time in my life and hated it. But I do vaguely remember eating almost an entire bag of chips after smoking. And since I haven't eaten much in the past month, I'm welcoming the munchies. I tried Marinol with my last treatment (which is Mary Jane in pill form) and I hated it. I would feel fine one minute and then all of a sudden, BOOM. Stoned. Really really stoned. Not my thing. We shall see if the real deal is any better for me. It's funny what we are willing to try when we have no other choice. The last pair of jeans I bought were a size smaller than usual. Those are now hanging on me, and my butt has disappeared completely. I was comfortable losing weight in my legs, my arms, my post baby belly. But the butt was just taking it too far. It needs to come back. Now. So, Mary Jane, hopefully you will make me love food again and will bring my booty back.
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